Freaking Smack.... Reader Beware!

Blah Blah Blah is all the Axis can come up with? And which side was sitting under the water at CANATS? Nuff said.

 

Pe.... if I remen=mber correctly!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
oh shit...... that is great stuff!!!

 

I remember the Allied Vitorio Veneto sinking twice, the Prussian (Allied) Prince Eugen sinking, the Musashi(after she was captured by the Allies) sinking, The Turpitz sinking after 'Allied Moving Company' moved him and convieniently cracked his keel and Bismarck being scuttled by a drunk Capt (too much rum), but I don't remember any Allied ships actually working correctly, let alone sinking anyone. And yes the sky is blue where I come from.
J

 

BIS, Vitorrio, PE, Mooshashi all sank. The BIS was the first to sink.

 

Well WARSPITE was working correctly first battle and it didn't sink. The Axis shooting was like the earth's Axis... off center... so to speak..lol

 

I'd be drinking myself senseless to if I was axis and knew the end was near. You will all sink in the end so don't worry or feel left out. The Bis was the first one down. The PE just went down so the poor axis wouldn't feel too bad.

 

Speaking of Pirates..... Depp signed a record 61 million contract to return as the good Captain Sparrow in Pirates 4!!! Tell me I am not excited!!!!! SMACK to the lot of you.... all of you have tried to sink me... three of you succeeded!!!! I believe it is now time to embrace the oldest and noblest of pirate traditions "Fight.... to run away!"

 

Well where I come from, the Axis have won every single major fleet action since 2006. And that's despite having the living embodiment of Murphy's Law on our team.

 

Sounds like the perfect place.

 

Too bad you 5k miles away in Canada

 

True so true but most of our ships are axis too.

 

There alot of dillusional people in our club.

 

I think delusions is an Axis trait

 

No you mean seclusion as in no where to be seen..oh wait... I feel a switch ..to... YES!!! AXIS....NO I mean where were the ALLIES?!...Only 1 Allie ship and a wannabe Allie warship that's it?Once again the cowards did not have the metal to show up....hahahahhah...yeah!

 

Your both right, the axis and the allies are both disillusioned. The French on the other hand.........
oh, what am i saying?[]

 

You have split a personality there Curt. As for only one allied ship, that will change next year. MAybe all the hot air from the axis will be useful after all. we are getting an aweful lot of pages here. Maybe go for the record.

 

Is there a Doctor in the House?

 

I found the script for Monty Python, and had a little fun. (I'm particularly proud of the Q-ship part) It's to Big Gun rules, but I'm sure you guys will get it:


Tim: Behold the cove of Caer Bannog.
King Bismarck: Right. Keep me covered.
Sir Gneisenau: What with?
King Bismarck: Just keep me covered.
Tim: Too late!
King Bismarck: What?
Tim: There it is!
King Bismarck: Where?
Tim: There!
King Bismarck: What? Behind the transport?
Tim: It *is* the transport!
King Bismarck: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
King Bismarck: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary transport. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered merchant you ever set eyes on!
Sir Strasbourg: You tit! I sprang a leak I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that transport's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Gneisenau: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Gneisenau: Oh, yeah?
Sir Strasbourg: You manky Scottish git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Sir Strasbourg: What's he do? Push you around?
Tim: He's got hidden torpedoes... er... He can turn about... Look at the bubbles!
King Bismarck: Go on, Bretagne. sink him silly!
Sir Bretagne: Right! Silly little bleeder. One transport trophy comin' right up!
Tim: Look!
*cry of pain*
King Bismarck: Jesus Christ!
Tim: I warned you.
Sir Strasbourg: I’ve done it again.
Tim: I warned you. But did you listen to me, oh no, you know it all didn’t you. It’s just a harmless little transport, isn’t it. Well it’s always the same. I always…
King Bismarck: Oh, shut up. Right, Full Speed Ahead!
*sounds of carnage and destruction*
King Bismarck: Run away! Run away!
(repeating Run Away!)
King Bismarck: Right, how many did we lose?
Sir Lancelot: Yamato.
Sir Gneisenau: Fuso.
King Bismarck: And Bretagne. That’s five.
Gneisenau: Three, sir.
King Bismarck: Three. Well, we’d better not risk another frontal assault. That transport’s a Q-ship.
Rookies: A Q-ship! Sink it! Sink it!
Sir Scharnhorst: There are ways of telling whether it is a Q-ship.
Rookie 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Scharnhorst: Tell me. What do you do with Q-ships?
Rookie 1: sink them.
Sir Scharnhorst: And what do you sink, apart from Q-ships?
Rookie 1: More Q-ships.
Rookie 2: British Battlecruisers.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do British battlecruisers sink?
Rookie 3: ...because they're... Allied?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether it is Allied?
Rookie 1: Build a bridge out of it.
Sir Scharnhorst: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Rookie 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Do British battlecruisers sink in water?
Rookie 2: YES!
Rookie 1: No, no, they float!... Then explode... Then SINK! Throw it into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Rookie 1: BBs.
Rookie 2: Apples.
Rookie 3: Very small rocks.
Rookie 1: CO2.
Rookie 2: Grease.
Rookie 3: Screwdrivers.
Rookie 1: Mud.
Rookie 2: Weeds.
Rookie 3: Lead! Lead!
King Bismarck: A Duck.
Sir Scharnhorst: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Rookie 1: If it weighed the same as a duck... it's Allied.
Sir Scharnhorst: And therefore...
Rookie 2: ...A Q-ship! SINK IT!
King Bismarck: But how do we sink it?
Sir Strasbourg: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
King Bismarck: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
Sir Gneisenau: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
King Bismarck: Like what?
Sir Gneisenau: Well... ooh.
Sir Lancelot: Have we got bows?
King Bismarck: No.
Sir Lancelot: We have the Quad Cannon of holiness.
King Bismarck: Yes, of course! The Quad Cannon of holiness! 'Tis one of the
sacred relics Brother Dunkerque carries with him! Brother Dunkerque! Bring up
the The Quad Cannon of holiness!
MONKS: *chanting*
King Bismarck: How does it... um... how does it work?

Sir Yamato: I know not, my liege.

King Bismarck: Consult the Book of Model Warship Combat!

Brother Dunkerque: International Book of Model Warship Combat, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Musashi: [reading] And Saint John raised the cannon up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy bb cannon, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and balsa wood...

Brother Dunkerque: Skip a bit, Brother...

Musashi: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou load the magazines. Then shalt count out six, no more, no less. Six shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be six. Eight shalt thou not count, neither count thou four, excepting that thou then proceed to six. Thirty is right out. Once the number six, being the sixth number, be reached, expel your magazines towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Brother Dunkerque: Amen.

All: Amen.

King Bismarck: Right. One... two... eight.

Graf Spee: Six, sir.

King Bismarck: Six.

*BANG*

 

An excellent rendition of the true thought process in the heads of Naval Officers and the quality of British Ships!!
J

 

That was great.