Smack Thread

I hope my Valiant will be half as awesome as some of the Warspites I've heard of. Same hull, same armament... new captain, different name.

 

German is just plain better you allies must relize this, but you just won't amit it.

 

True Day homie. no brit-turd can surpass the awesomeness of german engineering.

 

Of course the germans were superior engineers. They made some really good submarines....Bismark, Tirpitz, Graf Spee, just name a few.....lol

 

I have to say, I truly enjoyed the British fireworks manufacturing. Invincible, Queen Mary, Hood, they were all very brilliant. It seems they didn't quite get the blasting charge right on Lion though: she only blew up one turret. Then there was the model of the Roberts. She blew up as soon as "commence firing" was called, spun around spraying water and bubbles for two seconds while the gas drained from the bottle, then dropped straight down to the bottom of the Allied port. It was very entertaining to watch, and IIRC it was captured on video. I think the Allies should consult with that builder more so they can improve the entertainment factor of their fireworks: make better booms and funny shapes when the ships sink.

 

Oh, you did not just go there crazy. You opened a can a, well, you know. You know im building a Spee, that was, was, just wrong. Anyway, i dont see the invincible anymore (as if names mean anything) orm the prince of wales, what about....never mind, it didnt make it either. most didnt.
I agree gascan, larger fireworks, it seems the only way to dazzle their opponents with anything for more then a few seconds.

 

British are big on bang but have no endurence or stomache for a fare fight.

 

No stomach for a fight?
Which nation's premier battleship sank a battlecruiser, but ran like a little girl when the enemy's capital ships arrived and was hunted down and killed by some obsolete biplanes and a 1922 warship? Hmmmmm?
Which nation's battleships saw action in every theatre, through the entire course of WW2?
Which nations light cruisers hounded the Graf Spee to it's demise? Despite the damage they took?

 

Lots of stomach all right... just NO BRAINS!!!!!
Which nation sent everything it had against one little Battleship and kept losing it even with radar? Which nation's naval officers didn't have the brains to get the hell outta Dodge when they were out gunned and on fire? Which nation's naval commander baulked at the use of submarines because he said they were Uncivilized, Underhanded and damned Un-British!!?? Which nation's navy would YOU rather sail with???
J

 

Nobody said the Brits were smart. They lost more battleships than any other allied nation...... Bad designs.....maybe...... bad crews.....maybe or just bad commanders.....most likely.

 

Or all of the above.

 

There's something chivalrous and daring about the Brits that just can't be matched by any other nation, except possibly the Polish. Maybe they weren't the brightest, but they sure were the bravest. I'd rather fight for the glorious navy of King George than for the cowardly, underhanded and, more often than not, underwater Germans.

 

I took the liberty of providing some evidence for your claims. Please enjoy each of the four historical film clips and ten colorized photographs I included. I must add, however, that the British, who are not exactly the brightest, are not exactly the best poets either.
The German Guns by PVT. Baldrick
Boom Boom Boom Boom
Boom Boom Boom
Boom Boom Boom Boom
Boom Boom Boom

I've noticed that we've teased the French and bullied the British, but I think we need to remember that they are not the only Allies. How about the Americans, or the Russians? The Canadians and Australians? Nobody has really taken a swipe at them. Anyone have anything to contribute?

 

The americans well do not get me started on them..... Dumb as a post... they had warning of the attack on Pearl and let it happen anyway. Trying to play both sides before they entered the war.... and american ships are just plain ugly.

 

Your right, the damned Canadians need to be addressed. Can you believe those freaking guys, running around the North Atlantic, which is rough at the best of times, in tiny little Corvettes or corks as they were also called, defending all those merchant ships so the brave and noble British would be able to continue fighting with their stiff upper lips! I for one, can't believe that those ungrateful Canadians didn’t even say thanks!!!!!

Also, can you believe the blasted Americans? Supplying all those tanks and guns and planes and ships and men to help the Brave and Noble British continue fighting, the nerve!!

And the poor Australians, having to try to fight with all that excellent, awesome British gear!! Boy do I envy them!!

But don't even get me started on the Russians!! I find it absolutely scandalous that they would dare to take half of the German Army away from the Brave and Noble British!!
Well I am just beside myself thinking about it!! I have to go and relax or meditate or something...

 

HAAAAAAA... not too bad Jay and you have to be brave or stupid to sail across the north atlantic in a corvette

 

To remind the Allies of their rightful place in life, I wrote up a little ditty. Here's the tune.

What do you do with an Allied skipper,
What do you do with an Allied skipper,
What do you do with an Allied skipper,
Early in the Morning!

poke another hole when he isn't looking,
poke another hole when he isn't looking,
poke another hole when he isn't looking,
early in the morning!

chorus:
wey hey and up she rises,
wey hey and up she rises,
wey hey and up she rises,
early in the morning!

dial down his pressure so his guns won't work right,
dial down his pressure so his guns won't work right,
dial down his pressure so his guns won't work right,
early in the morning!

chorus

clog up his pump so he sinks more quickly,
clog up his pump so he sinks more quickly,
clog up his pump so he sinks more quickly,
early in the morning!

chorus

stir up all the weeds in the Allied harbor,
stir up all the weeds in the Allied harbor,
stir up all the weeds in the Allied harbor,
early in the morning!

chorus

toggle the reverse on his rudder servo,
toggle the reverse on his rudder servo,
toggle the reverse on his rudder servo,
early in the morning!

chorus

dial down the throttle on his speed controller,
dial down the throttle on his speed controller,
dial down the throttle on his speed controller,
early in the morning!

That's what we do with an Allied skipper,
That's what we do with an Allied skipper,
That's what we do with an Allied skipper,
early in the morning!

 

And we still kick axis butt.

 

Only in your dreams allied scum.

 

That's right. The Allies dream about fighting Axis ships. Axis have nightmares thinking about fighting Allied ships.