Smack Thread

Scuttle themselves? Oh, poo poo!

 

"both the Frenchie and the Axis battleship are facing a plurality of battleships."

This is implied on your part. Were there only two allied battleships there, the correct grammar would still be "battleships", and thus a 2v2 fight. The allied ships would are, superior. Now if he had said superior numbers, you might have an arguement

As for taking that many, it's not required, but you never give a sucker an even chance. So you're saying Lutjens choked with fear at the sight of a British battlecrusier, Marschall ran like a little girl vs yet another British battlecruiser (while outnumbering it 2 to 1 with more modern ships no less!!), Bey tried to run away from some cruisers with a battleship (scharnhorst) and FAILED...while Tirpitz was too afraid to poke her nose out of a fjord!

 

Taffy 3. Nuff said

 

Hey, if the Japanese force of 4 BBs and 6 CAs ran away from a few CVEs and DDEs during the action off Samar, doesn't that go to show that the odds were stacked against the Axis? That just makes it even more impressive when I charge a formation of Allied BBs with nothing but a CL and big steel balls, and win
Seventeen silhouettes on the side of my bridge, before I sold it to give the allies a chance...
http://www.westernwarshipcombat.com/gallery/album60/Battle_010
http://www.westernwarshipcombat.com/gallery/album60/Battle_048
http://www.westernwarshipcombat.com/gallery/album60/Battle_068
The fatal hit:
http://www.westernwarshipcombat.com/gallery/album60/Battle_091
and the inevitable result:
http://www.westernwarshipcombat.com/gallery/album60/Battle_096

 

All I have to say is
this
.

 

Seems to me the Allies need to build torpedo cruisers of their own and use appropriate tactics. While I can't look at the images at work, and have no biggun experience, the basic torpedo tactics I would try seem fairly simple:

- Bow-to-bow approach because it's harder to shoot forward then it is aft due to bow flare on most ships
- get under their big guns so they are shooting my deck and superstructure (think USS Bailey at 1st guadalcanal vs Hiei)
- deposit torpedo load under enemy "B" turret (usually where the hull starts to really flare out)
- disengage at high speed, flaring away from them so their aft turrets are pointed directly at my stern

If they decide they don't like that kind of treatment and turn to open their firing arcs when I approach, get a friend and hammer and anvil them, torpedo bomber style.

The Allies have the ships with the speed and firepower: Omaha, Kirov and Chapayev are all torpedo armed and 35 knots plus.

 

The Big Gun torpedo-cruiser was a very effective weapon for two reasons. First, it was a very simple, reliable ship and could be used with the tactics you described. Second, torpedo-cruisers were able to swarm their targets in a way no battleship could, spreading out the damage over several ships while concentrating their own results on one. And third, 4 of them were introduced to the pond within a very short time period, all on the same side. The result of this was a definite "shock and awe" effect. People simply could not comprehend how this sort of catastrophe (and that's exactly what it was) could happen, and it was during that year-long period that I racked up the majority of my victories. Once people got over their shock and started shooting straight again, it got a lot more dangerous attacking capital ships.

The torpedo-cruiser also introduced a philosophical debate about the nature of Big Gun, and what the "ideal" Big Gun ship is. Those of us driving torpedo-cruisers saw that a potentially fatal trend was developing, where everyone would move from the big, mighty battleships into small, fast torpedo-cruisers. That same trend contributed to the collapse of the SCBG. Although driving a torpedo-cruiser was fun, I still remember my time driving a Scharnhorst as the most fun of all, even though I got creamed by the superior Allied battle-wagons. To preserve the club and the bigger classes of ships on the pond, me and several other skippers sold out cruisers to new members, and are currently building battleships. Of course, we're still hoping for the "shock and awe" effect, since we'll be putting three WWI dreadnoughts on the water within a month of each other, but the club's future is secure.

Just to keep this post on-topic, a little smack for the Allies:
You Allies all are just jealous of us Axis, because none of your leaders can do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybuKQf9p5jg

 

your leaders also get to do this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_Instrument_of_Surrender

 

Instead of fighting the Axis will do this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scuttling_of_the_German_fleet_in_Scapa_Flow

 

Looks like the Axis has retreated back to their fjords, once again, leaving the Allies with the field.

 

CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! I can't go to you tube at work!!!!!!! I'll try to get there tonight.

We haven't retreated, just reloading our cannons. We do leave the Allies the field from time to time though...to pick up all the crap we beat out of them!!!!!!!

 

The axis spends a lot of time "reloading". In one of the online games I play, it's called "dodging" and it's what the weaker groups tend to do to that when superior groups are out. It's ok though, I'm sure the Axis' mothers still love them...someone has to!

 

I' ve seen Allies dodging LOTS & LOTS & LOTS & LOTS!!!!!

 

Dodge left... dodge right... dodge back... dodge down... wait, that's called sinking...
Dodge, Allies, dodge!

 

Sorry, the Axis has patented that move. Its like in WW1, the most famous maneuver attempted by the high seas fleet was the "battle turn away". Instead of the High Seas Fleet it should be the Forrest Gump Fleet. "Run, Forrest Run!"

 

Well, they had to. They still opened a can of whoop@$$ on the brits at Jutland outnumbered. Smack, Smack, Smack.

 

And which fleet tucked their tails between their legs and fled at Jutland?

 

Allies: [singing] Brave Axis ran away...
Axis *No!*
Allies: [singing] bravely ran away away...
Axis: *We didn't!*
Allies[singing] When danger reared its ugly head, they bravely turned their tail and fled.
Axis: *We never did!*
Allies: [singing] Yes, brave Axis turned about, and valiantly, they chickened out.
Axis: *Oh, you liars!*
Allies: [singing] Bravely taking to their feet, they beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by the brave Axis

 

I would hardly call a blind man who ran from his attackers a coward: it is only common sense to run away from someone you cannot fight back against. In terms of Axis martial strength, perhaps I should remind the forum of what the Japanese did to the Russians.
That beautiful tune has been horribly mangled. It's like putting the lyrics from Mary Had a Little Lamb to the tune of Ode to Joy: they just don't belong together.

 

"I would hardly call a blind man who ran from his attackers a coward"

And then never came out in force again either. It's like they said "Crap, so THATs what the enemy fleet looks like"

Then there's the conversation between Adm Hipper and Adm Scheer after Jutland.

AH: "Sir, that death ride order was a low down dirty trick. The only thing we practice in training is running. It worked out well for me at Dogger Bank, and for yourself here at Jutland as you may recall"

AS: "I know, and as our ships were designed with running away in mind, ordering an attack was the hardest order I've ever given in my life"

AH: "I trust then sir, that this attacking nonsense will be forgotten in the future? Morale in the fleet is down, and we're likely to have mutinies if word of attacking gets out to the men...they don't like it at all."

AS: "Oh quite right. There will be no more offensive operations from the fleet. Our training will now focus on scuttling procedures. We'll show those uppity englischer bastards that they do not have complete mastery of all things nautical. We've already mastered tactical disengagement, and will soon show them a fleet scuttling second to none!"

AH: "It's good to see that that attack order was just a lapse in judgement, and that the fleet has a commander that it can count on. It's an honor to serve with you sir."