Well Mike, The only time I ever saw an Axis ship sink that fast was a very solemn event. It was a gloomy day; the sky was overcast with many darker patches of thick rain filled clouds. The rumble of thunder was heard in the distance, sounding much like Axis cannons, a promise of what was to come. The birds were hunched down in the trees, determined to weather the storm. Dead, dried up leaves were blown about by a brisk, cold breeze. Other than the chop on the lake, the leaves were the only things moving on this foreboding morning. The Allied fleet was lined up, they appeared ready for action. They chuckled quietly amongst themselves with false bravado, hoping they were alone on the water. Three battlewagons and a heavy cruiser thinking they were so superior, although everyone could see the weather had them spooked. Every thunder clap caused them to look around anxiously, fearing the sound was the Axis coming to lay yet another arse kicking on them. You could see them relax as there were no Axis units present. The chuckling continued, albeit a little quieter, a little more reserved. And then it happened out of nowhere, the mighty Axis ship seemed to appear from nothing, as though the Allied fear, the building terror, simply willed it into being. So horrified were the 'mighty' Allied ships that two of the battlewagons voided their stern mounts, BBs piling up beneath them like shiny, silver bunny turds, their CO2 venting uncontrollably. The 'heavy' cruiser shut down and refused to flash up again, it just sat in the water slowly rocking back and forth crying and sobbing and mumbling incoherently. The final battlewagon sat motionless for what seemed like an eternity, like it was in shock. After a few moments longer than that eternity (and I 'm sure it was for the poor Ally), it let out this high pitched, wailing screech. The pathetic bawling and snivelling continued, pleading for mercy, offering up the other Allies if only the Axis war-machine would spare it’ s miserable existence. And then out of the blue, the final Allied battlewagon, the pride of the Allied fleet, accelerated to it’ s top speed heading out into the deepest part of the pond and sank itself in a whirlpool of CO2 bubbles, small plastic accent pieces and screaming. The Axis ship broke out into such a fit of laughter that it popped out its fwd hatch, filled with water and sank. But in true Axis fashion, it pumped itself out from the bottom, and once back on the surface, brought it’s cannon to bear and sank the three remaining Allied ships. And then the sun came out, the birds started to sing and the Emden smiled and sailed off to enjoy the day. True story, kinda heart warming too. And Keri, I have seen Axis ships literally pull themselves into the water from the shore, without the help of their captains to get a chance to sink an Allied ship in much the same way children will pull away from their parents to ride a Unicorn. Although seeing a Unicorn is more likely that an Allied boat in the water. J
We hereby interupt this smack thread for an important announcement..."HMS Unicorn is now HMCS Windsor. I was on the original crew and spent 10 years on her."...We now return you to our regular scheduled smack. Still easier to see a Unicorn than an Allied ship on the water, J
Good to see an Allied ship still sailing proudly, many years after the last axis warship was sent to the breakers or the bottom. And if you really want to see a unicorn, visit Dundee. I believe the bowspirt on the 46-gun HMS Unicorn is still on her. Go ALLIES!!!
You will never see the WINDSOR sailing proudly...she is a submarine and everything she does is shrouded in secrecy. See Keri, I told you and Darren agrees! You do have a better chance of seeing a unicorn that you do of seeing and Allied ship on the water!! J
The Unicorn in question IS on an allied ship, and she's still on the water after being launched in 1824. She'd make a really nice AOS ship too.
Just because a ship has HMS in front of it's name doesn't mean it is Allied you know. I am sure there are many a Spanish sailor or French sailor or even American sailor who put the 'HMS' ships on the bad guy list, if we are going to talk about wooden ships built in the early 1800s. Maybe we should come up with an AoS smack thread! Something like, "Shiver Me Timbers, Allied boats be where little girls play!! ARRRRRR!!" Hey that works. J
Waiting for something intelligent to come from the Allies; (Sound of crickets chirping)... (More crickets)... (Crickets)... (Crickets)... (Terrified screech of an Allied cricket being eaten by Axis Mantis) Nuff said.
Wow, this is disheartening. I guess we Axis are going to have to all go Allied (Yuk!! I just threw up in my mouth a little) Since the Cowardly Allies won't even show up on the smack thread, (they KNOW they are getting out-done here too), there is no chance of them showing up on the pond. If we Axis want to battle, and we do, this appears to be our only option, (Yuk!! I just threw up in my mouth a little again). No wonder the Allies are unhappy, just thinking about being Allied leaves a bad taste in your mouth, I can't imagine what they feel, other than fear that is
Tis betterto be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all dopunt. It seems the Axis are remving all doubt these days.And the Axis moto is: trying is the first step towards failure.
Like usual, the Axis propaganda machine has spun the truth into something entirely different. The truth is that the Allies owned the Axis so badly recently within the Smack Thread that we felt it was not necessary to beat the dead Axis any more. After all, we Allies may be relentless but we do grant mercy to the defeated.
Doesn't that go, 'Tis better to be silent and thought a fool, than to spell simple words incorrectly and prove one is an Allied Captain!" There is no need for an Axis propaganda machine, the Allies provide all that the Axis need as well as entertainment too. It's like watching the Three Stooges except there are more than 3 of them and the stooges are more smarter (typed in terms the Allies can understand). J
The words were spelt incorrectly so that the inferior axis prefrontal cortex could understand them, and not be afraid of the inherent complexities ofthe vastly superior allied native tongue, English. To this end, we Allies have even allowed the dilution of the language to it's current, nore easily comprehended form, American English. It's quite heartwarming to see the axis attempt to copy us in their stilted-pidgen english-smack variant. Noice wurk guyzzz, keyp it up'n yall sooner be's betta speekin two. Hey look, I can type axis!
Yep, and I was even nice enouh to leave a spelling error in there for the really nitpicky axis folk. All heart, ain't I?
Don't you kid yourself, or more accuately, trick yourself Allied swine!! We Axis know very well what goes on in the Allied brain, nothing, and we understand you're childlike attempts at communications. This is why I type so slow, I am being considerate because I know you Allies can't read very fast and I don't want you to fall behind. Even though I don't speak American english, I do understand it and y'all shouldnta poke fun at yur Allies cuz if it wernt fer them, all y'all would be speekin a differnt language, AXIS, although we would have to dumb it down for y'all.
