That was my Redneck Allied impersonation. I have another... Well, pip pip Gadzooks!! I do believe the Axis have once again handed us our lazy bums!! See, Allied at its best!!!!!! J
Axis spies just informed me of an important development in Allied communication systems. Their code-name for surrender flags has changed from "bleached undies" to the "brown spot". Little information on this new flag is available, but Axis intelligence believes it was not based on the "black spot" of treasure island fame but may have been an accidental development.
Thanks for the update, that is important news. For you Allies, save your self the embarrassment and just sink now. J
We will sink YOU now. Any time any place. Wasnt it the Axis and their bleach blonde looks. They probably used bleach to remove the stains when they saw a superior Allied navy.
Ah yes, the brown spot. An accident it was, but how those pesky axis spies came to know of it is a mystery. Seems we were using a french battle ensign (White fluer de Li on a white background) as a tablecloth, and the news came that the axis were preparing to sortie, with much bluster and bravado. Poor Carstairs was so racked with laughter that he knocked over the teapot.
Oh yes, the Allied teapot. Figures. Explains alot. Allies drink tea and say things like "Pip, Pip, Cheerio" and "What, What", but the noble Axis drink RUM and say things like "Arrrr" and "Shiver me Timbers!" Doesn't sounds as prim and proper as the Allies, but definately cooler!!! AARRRRRRR!! J
We also say things like "where have the axis gone?" and "oh, there they are, on the bottom !" The axis kommanders should stick to the foo foo girly drinks and leave the real stuff for the allies. Good Jamiacan (a british colony, dontchaknow) rum is obviously too strong for them, making them use fake cornish accents, march silly and pretendi they're cool.
I do know the Allies say that first part, heard em say it too...but that was because they were hiding and were too afraid to look. Never heard em say the second part. They obviously hear that part in their heads, along with other voices in there. Unfortunately for the Allies, there is nothing else in there either. And as far as rum goes, no yellow, lily livered, chicken-#^$t Allied (that's all of em by the way) deserves to have that nectar any where near them. A good, proper rum won't even come out of the bottle for an Allied capt. J
Ahh, another glorious sweep for the Axis. Not a single Allied ship remained on the pond while the Axis fleet shot up the Allied supply of pink peeps. That's right. The cunning Allied Plan for Supreme Victory required a large stockpile of sweet, sugary duck-shaped pink Easter candy. And we shot them up. Every last one of them. And drove their broken bodies before us. And heard the lamentations of their women. You poor Allies don't stand a chance now. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Of course the rum won't willingly come out of the bottle for the glorious allied skippers. It's scared of us, like those cowardly axis dogs, and so we must go after it, force it to submit and sink it without delay. Unlike the axis, who try to entice the rum from it's bottle with curly straws, bits of pineapple, cherries, paper umbrellas and slices of orange, then ambush it from behind when it's not looking.
I think I was in that strip joint in Philly in '86 don't see any drunk sailors on floor...oh! that was me!
HA!! Rum fears no man...or ALLIED scum either!! The mighty Axis need not entice rum, it comes willingly to those it knows are the superior warriors. J
Did I really scare off the Allies with that graphic video of peep annihilation? Were the gory details too explicit for their poor Allied hearts to take? Then perhaps they should skip this next video, too. After all, it explains in excruciating detail why the Axis rule and the Allies doom themselves to defeat. www.youtube.com/watch
No. We were actually perplexed as to why the axis claimed a stunning victory over a collection of confectionary. They couldn't shoot back, fell apart when they hit the water and were intended for use by children, much like axis warships, so where was the challenge? We prefer to claim victory after destroying axis warships, sinking their merchants, ravaging their shore batteries and asserting our obvious superiority. Even this is becoming quite mundane, to the point where we actually have to taunt the axis to come out of hiding due to thier extreme sinkability. Of course we do appreciate the films showing us how the axis will defeat us and sail onwards to ultimate victory. We like fiction.
tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. knock, knock, knock, knock, knock KNOCK!, KNOCK!, KNOCK!, KNOCK!, KNOCK!! HEY!!! Allied guys. Wake up, you are having a dream!!! And when you get out on the water, the Axis are going to turn it into a nightmare!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
boom, boom, boom, boom, Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!!!!! We are awake, it is you who are dreaming, the guns you hear are not your own. You better don your lifejackets and get out on deck, you are sunk! This is a nightmare - Yours.
